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Prologue: 'The Scavenger's Guide to Haute Cuisine'
© Steven Rinella
IT'S
ALMOST TIME FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER AND I'M JUST NOW beginning to stuff the
bird. But no matter how hard I stuff, I can't get it to fit inside the bladder.
I'm following a recipe from French master chef Auguste Escoffier's 1903 magnum
opus, Le Guide Culinaire, a 5,012-recipe compendium on haute cuisine.
The book is pinned open on the counter with a one-quart jar of stingray
marinade. Technically, the dish I'm making calls for a duck to be poached inside
a pig's bladder. But when I killed a wild boar in northern California last
summer, I accidentally nicked its bladder with my skinning knife. So I'm trying
to forge ahead with an antelope bladder and half a duck. I push and pull and
stretch, but it won't go.
The poached bladder is just one of the courses from Le Guide
Culinaire that I'm attempting to construct tonight. All together,
I have the ingredients for fifteen dishes scattered throughout the
kitchen here in Miles City, Montana. Or, I should say, I have the
ingredients for thirteen dishes scattered around; the makings of the
other two courses are still wearing their feathers and fur.
My two squabs, or baby pigeons, are cooing and preening in the coop
that I built last summer. The birds' names are Red and Lil' Red, and
I'll be using them in Escoffier's pigeonneaux crapaudine. In
an hour they need to be plucked, flattened, dipped in butter, grilled,
then served with gherkins and Escoffier's diable, or devil
sauce.
The remaining dish is a pâté of cottontail rabbit. For all I know,
the key ingredient for that is still hopping around south of town. My
two brothers, Matt and Danny, left this morning with a group of our
friends to hunt pheasants and rabbits along the Powder River, but it's
getting dark and they still haven't returned.
I keep busy as I wait for the rabbit. After lifting some strips of
black bear fat out of a bowl of brandy, I refill the bowl with a
handful of wild boar sausage. Then I begin prepping the fixings for a
freshwater matelote, a soup made from white wine, stock, and a medley
of fish. I've already peeled the crayfish tails, so I trim some
fillets of small-mouth bass, walleye, and bluegills and remove the
long, serpentine spine from an eel.
If everything goes right, I will prepare forty-five courses from
Le Guide Culinaire over the next three nights. I have at my
fingertips a collection of the book's ingredients that I gathered from
all corners of the country. As I work along, converting raw material
to food, the last year of my life literally passes through my fingers.
The stingray marinade takes me back to a Florida beach, where my buddy
Kern and I wrestled in a stingray amid a throng of hostile tourists.
The black bear fat makes me remember the glaciers of Alaska's Chugach
Range, which turn the eerie blue color of gel toothpaste when the sun
breaks through the clouds. The eel makes me think of Ray Turner, a
self-proclaimed "old hairbag by the river" who operates an eel weir in
upstate New York, keeps an emu for company, and once built a fireplace
from a rock that he found by the grave site of an Indian princess.
Back when I first discovered Le Guide Culinaire, I knew
I'd stumbled into a strange, lost world. In his day, Escoffier was
known as the King of Chefs and the Chef of Kings; he cooked for the
likes of Kaiser Wilhelm II, Frederick VIII, the Duke of
Orleans, Queen Victoria, the Prince of Wales, the Khadid of Egypt,
the emperors of Austria and Brazil, the shah of Persia, and the king
of Greece. If Escoffier's list of clients just sounds like a bunch of
people who figured into World War I, you might approach Escoffier
through the more familiar lens of American music:
Now, if you're blue
And you don't know where to go to
Why don't you go where fashion sits
Puttin' on the Ritz
That ditty from 1929 was written by Irving Berlin, the same dude
who wrote "God Bless America." In "Puttin' on the Ritz," Berlin is
referring to the Swiss hotelier César Ritz, whose name is synonymous
with taste and class and ostentatious display.
In large part, Ritz's reputation rested on his long partnership
with Auguste Escoffier. Ritz ran the hotels; Escoffier ran the
kitchens in the hotels. When Escoffier collected his methods in Le
Guide Culinaire, he produced a work that single-handedly
revolutionized French haute, or "high," cuisine.
As old as it is, the book didn't seem to me like a historical
document when I found it. Instead, I saw it immediately as a
scavenger's guide, an inventory of all that is bizarre and glorious
and tantalizing about procuring your own food and living off the wild.
I tore into the book, hell-bent on recreating as much of it as I
could. I allowed myself a year, and now all that time has come down to
these moments, these three nights, and I'm filled with overwhelming
giddiness. And an equal dose of anxiety. I've got friends here from
all over the country tonight. If I can't pull off this feast, this
last year of my life will seem a little less extraordinary.
I go outside to see if my brothers are back yet with some rabbits.
They're not. I take a peek into the pigeon coop. It's dark out, and
the two squabs are sitting on their perches, oblivious to what lies
ahead. The older pigeon, Red, has one of the younger pigeon's feathers
stuck in his bill. There's plenty of room for the two to spread out,
but they make a sport of pecking at each other in a ritualistic sort
of dance. They usually shadowbox, but now and then Red connects. I'm
visited by this weird sense of guilt that I get every time I look at
them. Catching the squabs required almost a year's time and several
near-death experiences. When I first started chasing pigeons with the
thought of trying some of Escoffier's thirty-four squab recipes, I
thought of the birds as dirty pests. But after catching a few pigeons
and raising the squabs by hand, I came to see the birds as a metaphor
for the contradictions of a society that has distanced itself from the
production of its food. Now that I'm moments away from "prepping" the
birds, I lament that it's going to be an awfully abrupt ending for
such a long story. In Escoffier's day, people killed squabs by
smothering them. The ancient Romans drowned their squabs in red wine.
I might use a hatchet.
I go back to the kitchen to finish plucking a box of twenty English
sparrows that I got in Iowa. The birds are so small, I can hold four
or five of them in my palm at once. Plucking the little things is
delicate work. I lift one from the box and pinch a tuft of feathers
from its breast just as my girlfriend, Diana, walks into the kitchen.
At the sight of her, I reflexively drop the sparrow back into the box
and kick the lid closed. At the same time, I toss a scrap of
cheesecloth over the plate of wild turkey bones that will go into
tomorrow's game stock. Escoffier often recited the maxim, "If you want
to keep your appetite, stay out of the kitchen." I'm trying to enforce
Escoffier's advice on Diana, because she's a struggling vegetarian.
I'm hoping that this feast will serve as a rite of passage for her,
and that she'll emerge from the experience as a full-on carnivore.
She's agreed to try as much of the food as physically possible
tonight. I'm counting on her getting blown away by the beauty of the
finished products and I don't want her to get turned off prematurely.
Once I shoo Diana from the kitchen, two of my buddies from
childhood, Kern and Drost, come running through the front door in
their hunting boots and then go out the back door. As they disappear,
I yell, "Hey, did you get the rabbits?" But they don't hear me.
I go outside and see that my brothers and Drost are helping Kern
pin down one of his hunting dogs. The dog got hung up on a barbed-wire
fence. Kern's wife, Deirdre, is a doctor. She's got a curved needle
and a long thread, and she's sewing the dog back up.
When she finishes tightening the last knot, I look at Danny.
"Rabbits?"
"Two. I'll skin 'em for you."
When Danny comes in with the rabbit loins, I have what I need to
finish the fourteenth dish. I slice the loins in long, thin strips and
put them to soak in the brandy. Fourteen down. Now there's just one
dish left.
I step outside with the hatchet. Someone's turned on the yard
light, so Red thinks the sun has risen. I can hear him cooing.
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